People who know me, maybe with the exception of my parents, are probably divided into two camps. The first are filled with people with whom I have pretty much always been right. My guesses, conclusions, thoughts, comments about things have always been correct – or there were perfectly logical reasons why they’d be wrong and those who from time to time dislike that I pretty much live like I am always right.
For the most part (and take this with an entire bottle of salt), I am correct about things. . . except when those things concern me personally. Then my radar or whatever metaphorical sensory-computing device is at play gets scrambled.
I’ve been in a great relationship. I think the best I’ve had in my life (full disclosure, I’ve only had 4 if we start counting from when I was 17 – i’m now 26 and by relationship, I mean something lasting more than 1 month). But recently we’ve been having the “do you really want to see me or see someone else” conversation a lot.
I think that this stems mostly a series of incidents. My gf and I attended an event where an acquittance of mine displayed a lot of interest in me. And in the month since then, I have had more interaction with that acquittance including going to lunch with them – which I did not tell my gf about until two days afterward.
So, I won’t disagree that I am the cause for some of these problems. But in any case, tomorrow my girlfriend is going to break up with me. And I’m going to let her. I think I have decided that when it comes to relationships, you are either in or you are out. Flip-flopping may be fine the first few weeks, but not 3 months afterwards.
I always put more weight in the actions that people take, than necessarily the words they say. Though this may just be a cop out – and I will explain shortly. The reason I’m not going to fight it is because if this is what she wants, then I should not try to convince her otherwise. If someone is unhappy or unsatisfied enough that ending a relationship is among their best options for moving forward, then I should not stand in the way.
The reason I say this is a cop out is perhaps I don’t care enough to be willing to do or say whatever it would take to stay in this relationship. And so what I”m doing is taking the path of least resistance. Which if that is the case, then perhaps it should end anyway.
As sad as my day is going to be this time tomorrow, all my mind wants to snap at now is the thought that “This only proves my dad right – I have no idea what I’m doing where it comes to relationships”.
It is so easy to give other people advice. But this has me thinking, when it comes to something as subjective as this, who can really be qualified to give advice? Almost nobody has identical situation, and the odds of you being through the exact same thing twice, only the second time being able to make different decisions and have different outcomes is practically impossible.
So rather than vow to stop giving advice, I will instead try to recognize and verbalize the difference between my advice and my opinion.