I know that may sound strange, but hear me out. Unfortunately, my last long term relationship was not with “the one”. It was with someone with whom I did like and grow to love in some ways, someone with whom I liked being around and had fun. But when we started seeing each other, I did not have that “this might be it” feeling. It was my expectation that as we got to know each other better, if we stayed together and continued to grow, that maybe that feeling would grow on my part. I’m starting to think that’s not how it works for me.
See, I’ve gone out with “the one” several times. The first time, it lasted 3 years and through 6 months of being engaged, until things took a drastic change and the relationship could not be sustained. But after that, from time to time, I’d go out with “the one” and things didn’t go anywhere. But still, that feeling and impression was there. It has only been with a minority of people I’ve dated (keep in mind I’ve perhaps dated 10-12 women in the past 4 years with most not lasting past 2 dates), but despite those stats, perhaps my best bet is to only pursue things with those with whom I get that feeling.
I cannot describe how or why it happens. So far, all of them have been different – background, career goals, age, and other features. So, as much as the engineer in me would like to enumerate what these qualities may be in a woman, he can’t. A man who spends much of his life relying on rationality, a man who can explain to you that what other people call a “hunch” or “intuition” is really just logical deduction carried out by you unconscious mind, when faced with what feels like one of the biggest decisions in his life, is left to count on emotion.
Irony, you are my master.