So Let it be Written, So Let it be Done!

May 5, 2010

And so we hold our breath and wait

Filed under: drama,kamakula — kamakula @ 11:13 am
Tags: , ,

Last night I had an awesome date. We’d started off emailing each other. After a week of that we exchanged numbers to text. Which led to an intense 4 hours of random back and forth texts that sorta leveled off. Another week, and we decide to hang out, get some drinks chat.

To be honest, before hand, I was a bit worried about how things would go. No longer hiding behind our keyboards or phones, would our personalities in person mesh as well as our electronic ones? I got there about 12 minutes late. Not to worry, she was late by 10. I skipped her proffered hand and hugged hello. That went over well.

So, we get drinks, find a booth for ourselves and spend the next 2 hours holding an awesome free flowing conversation. We initially talked about school stuff, well really the behavior of people that we know or work with, and gradually moved on to other things. The laughter was effortless and natural. In fact, now that I think about it, there was never a nervous or awkward moment. At least not for me.

Then we headed over to another spot for a change of scenery and some dancing. Then afterwards grabbed a bite to eat before leaving for our respective domiciles. In all, it went pretty good. And apparently, all of my pretty good dates must occur just before I’m going out of town for the weekend. I wish there was a way to predict this ahead of time.

So I guess we’ll wait. Text some more, probably chat on the phone a bit, then hopefully have an encore performance next week.


December 21, 2008

A Woman, A Ring, A Question

Filed under: drama,kamakula,pittsburgh — kamakula @ 8:35 pm
Tags: , , ,

Yes, you read that correctly. This post involves a woman, a ring, and a question. Perhaps you already know what I’m about to say. If so, please, skip straight to the comments and leave your response. I’d like to compare before and after thoughts. . . 

So, trapsing through craigslist one day, I ran into an ad a person had put up. Being a bit bored (at my apt, finals over, just finished reading my second book), I decided “what the heck, I can talk”. So we did. Now hold your horses. . . she’s just looking for friendship and that’s all this has been.

Ahem. So, after some talk over some time, we decided to hang out and meet up at a semi-local Chuck-E-Cheese like venue. We have fun, play games, chat a bit, then afterwards go to a mexican restauarant where we ate and chatted some more. Full disclosure: She paid for all her stuff and I mine except there’s still some discussion over which one of us won the most tickets for the prizes we’d gotten (I think that Sky Captain machine was rigged).

Anyway, I like her and have no problems being a friend. Yes, I’m that elusive male character that can be a woman’s platonic friend, given the requirements for such are met that:

  1. I am not attracted to her OR
  2. She is in a relationship OR
  3. I am in a relationship.

So, she’s married so obviously #2. Anyway, even though I myself am not a jealous individual, I’d be a bit uncomfortable with someone who was my wife spending time with a male individual (single or not) that I did not know on some level.

So, I have to decide, how do I bring about the question? When I tell my friends things like this, I always get asked “How do you get yourself into these situations?” Seriously, they don’t happen that often. Just in-between the last time we see each other.

Another thing, with few exceptions, most of the women with whom I’m friends now were met when we were both single. And there was some flirting, perhaps a bit more, then it stayed where it was. So now, it’s no big deal to joke around with them. So, here, I have to think about toning down the typical stuff though I’m not sure if it’s even an issue. 

Last year, I discovered a new friend where some of the initial circumstances were the same as this one. It wasn’t until maybe six months later that we started talking (and laughing) about the initial few weeks of getting to know each other.

Ok, I have a bit of a confession to make. Generally, I don’t really have conclusions for my posts. Perhaps because of the nature of these things, they’re not always “resolved” when I write them. However, being the type of person that I am, I feel bad about this. . . and now all of you will start noticing something you didn’t really see before. So . . .

Boom-shaka-laka. The End.

April 26, 2008

Be Proactive! That is the Key

Filed under: drama,kamakula,pittsburgh — kamakula @ 3:19 pm
Tags: , , , , ,

Really, it is key with a lot of things. People just tend to live in their own bubble. I know I do. If you want to get my attention and pull me outside my bubble, you need to make the effort to call me, remind me, etc. I think this kind of behavior is well understood among friends, at least my closest friends.

We know that if we want something to happen, we can’t just lay about waiting for someone to call us, we instead call them. Get in their business or invite them to ours. The same applies to school, work, business, and relationships. The attention span of most girls is very small. You make a plan or mention an outing to one, especially one that isn’t that close, they’re likely going to forget or think it’s not important if you don’t call and remind them the day before or the day of.

Think about it. In your life, you’re used to events being handled that way. Why should they treat you any different? In fact, why do you expect to be treated better than they treat people they consider their good friends? Well, what’s the point of all this?

So, I’m thinking that I shouldn’t call or message ETC until she calls or messages me back from earlier this week. Then I realized that I was falling into similar traps that I’ve been in before. So after talking to Nate (whose back in town) and making plans to hang out tonight, I send her a message asking about her plans.

Apparently a friend of hers is in town so they were likely going to go out tonight (and perhaps why she didn’t bother to call me – because we tend to think that a “date” must be alone time between the two people). Well, I aim to change the way I treat “dates”. I think I talked a little about that here (click link).

So, I invited ETCand friend to hang out with me and Nate. I await the response but I think tonight will be a lot of fun if they come out. Certainly, there would be less tension since we’d both be out with friends and our interaction can be a bit more natural – the way people normally get to know each other.

I certainly didn’t go out to several dinners with any of my closest friends when we first met potentially ending in semi-awkward moments where we decide that maybe we’ll continue to hang out. We just did – doing stuff we were interested in and got to know each other.

I swear, the longer I live, the more I realize that I make certain things way too complicated. I’ve noticed this before, but even though guys (especially) decry this, I think everyone must unconsciously court a bit of drama into their lives. Perhaps it makes for interesting stories 🙂

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