So Let it be Written, So Let it be Done!

June 13, 2010

Just Because Something Is The Best You’ve Experienced, Doesn’t Mean You’re Done Learning

Filed under: blogging,dating,drama,kamakula — kamakula @ 10:50 pm
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So, I am currently enjoying what seems to be the beginnings of a wonderful relationship. She is sexy, funny, smart, amazing, and caring. We seem to get along so well and are in the stage where we can’t get enough of each other. I’m starting to lose count of the number of dates which changed from our plans of about 4 hours with each other to 8 [or longer ;)].

One thing that we discussed on our first date is being open and honest with each other and in the subsequent times since then, we’ve kept that up. In fact, we’ve both remarked to each other that this is the most communicative romantic relationship either one of us have had.

But we’ve also had a couple hiccups in this regard. Where miscommunication on our part led to issues that took some time to resolve. Where for a few hours, one or both of us were walking around with our hearts in our throats. And if we were different people, if our feelings for each other weren’t so strong – to the point where no matter what happens, we’d still have a sit down and talk things through – things may have ended or gotten a bit rocky.

So, why is it that our most communicative relationship still has problems with communication? It’s not a paradox actually. And it took these two events for me to realize that just because something is my personal best, doesn’t mean I’m done working on improvements. I’d let myself think that once I’d found someone with whom I’d made such a great connection, that would be it. I’d be done working on my ability to share myself.

Not so fast . . . things are not that easy. Yes, it is amazing how comfortable I am with her and how much we are able to share with each other. Yes, this is the best we’ve ever had. No – it is still not enough. And to be honest, I find this amazing. We’d agreed before that one thing we really liked was that though it feels like we’ve known each other for much longer than our 1.5 months (of which we’ve been dating for 2 weeks), there is still an excitement and feeling of there being much more to discover.

Where in the past, miscommunication and disagreements have led to arguments (whose resolutions admittedly were followed up by great makeup sex), here, those things lead to discussions about ourselves where we talk about what happened and how to better communicate with each other [and romp as usual ;)]

It was very easy for me to discover that I wanted to be a lifelong learner, that no matter what I do academically and professionally, I will always have more to be taught, that I can always learn from others. Now I’m seeing that the same applies to being a communicator. And where at times before I’d seen it as a chore, now I find that my passion and desire to learn has expanded to this area.

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January 23, 2008

I think the Tyrant is on Vacation

Filed under: grad school,kamakula — kamakula @ 4:43 am
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Well, as expected, I’m sorta into the school spirit, well, the spirit of doing work. I’m still being a little too lazy for my own good and I’m sure this will bite me in the ass sometime soon. I’m spending too much time studying and working on the game instead of my class material. I have some ideas for robots and competitions I want to enter/build coming up. I need to structure my time more so that I can manage classes, girls, and robots. Ha, that is the life.

For the past couple weeks, I’ve been toying around with different electric heaters since gas is so expensive for heating. I’ve finally settled on what I avoided from the start, using an oil filled radiator. I thought ceramic or quartz heating technologies were up to snuff, but turns out while they may provide “sun like” warmth. They don’t disperse and radiate heat everywhere like the sun does. Also, no matter how long they ran, my bedroom never really got much warmer (well, there was one Holmes quartz tower unit that may have warmed the room a little, just not enough for me to want to keep it). My radiator works like a charm, though as with all electric radiators (and why I initially avoided them) it takes a while to warm the entire place. . .but that whips NOT warming the entire place at all.

So now, I can go back to my normal sleep cycle, that is to say, instead of staying in bed an hour or two past initial waking and turning a 6 hour nap into an 8 hour one, I can now start executing those 4 hour sleep cycles. I’ll probably start with 6 and work my way down. We’ll see how long I can maintain this. I’m hoping this extra energy and interest I’m focusing on the game can be channeled into studying, reading, and practicing for my class stuff. DSP, I can handle as-is. However, I’m behind in SoC – need to learn VHDL (and actually use it), and pattern recognition – I’m keeping up with the prof and material in class, but I’m not sure just what we’re expected to know and want to spend more time studying so that I pretty much know everything 🙂

Gamewise, I think I’ve hit the point where I’ve transitioned from a plain beginner to someone who is actively working at making progress. That’s not to say I did not actively work at it before, it’s just I think as with everything, there are steps to it. You start at the bottom and take the first step. Suddenly, you’re at a much different level but you’ve plateaued. Some time later, you finally have accumulated enough inertia or whatever that you move up another step and then you progress a little along that plateau. I think I’ve moved up a step and am just realizing it. That’s not the best description, but it will do for now. One thing I’ve noticed is that as people get better at the game, they become better at communication (big game meme – it affects all parts of your life -as you get better at the game, you also get better at other things). I’m really excited to think just how much better a communicator I will become. I can see the game helping my academic life. As I get back into research, I’ll be thrown into the world of publish or die (well, not quite that bad, but don’t believe the hype about graduate studies being a pure meritocracy). So, my communication skills will need to improve. At the same time, on the game side, it’ll be improving too. So the two will feed each other, like some sort of symbiotic synergistic beast.

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