Dating was Easier in Elementary School

In my elementary school, if someone liked you, a piece of paper would randomly make it to your desk asking “Do you like me”? There would be two carefully drawn boxes next to the words “Yes” and “No”. All you had to do was check the box. Simple, efficient, fast, and neat.

As we got older, something told us that we needed to obfuscate the direct path between ‘I like you’ and ‘let’s hang out’. We spend time furtively reading articles on how to tell if a man is interested in you. Or what signs a woman gives if she wants you to “approach”. Yes. We know FIRST check for signs of if he or she wants us to even talk to them, let alone whether or not they are actually interested.

Perhaps because as adults, we may need to weed out a much larger number of potential suitors, and thus we have established a much more complex ritual of winks and secret smiles that only the one for whom it is truly intended (or who has read the correct books) can decipher.

Another things is that for some reason, as we have grown older, we apparently have acquired a fear of disappointing others. Whatever number of years ago it was, you just checked that NO box if you weren’t interested. Case closed. Now, you still give out your phone number, maybe even return a couple calls, then stop. The nicer ones give out fake numbers so that the more astute pursuer takes the hint immediately, though I’m sure there are some out there who go “NOOOOoooo, how did I transcribe those digits incorrectly” and spend the next hour trying any and all permuations of phone numbers where they can swap a 4 for a 9 or 1 for 7.

Yes. I realize most people don’t use the word ‘transcribe’ even when talking to themselves.

So, to help myself, I’ve come up with a few rules to guide my post digit getting behavior:

1. If any conversation about going out again results in you being ignored until you change the subject, delete after the second occurrence.
2. If you both are unable to find a common time (or make one) and things come up that for some reason nobody else can cover for you, delete after the second occurrence.
3. If you are the only person ever changing your schedule, or the other person is never available for you, but you for them, delete after the third occurrence.
4. If they never return your calls, delete after the third occurrence.

And there are a couple others. Essentially, I think to myself, what sort of behavior would I tolerate from my friends. If my friends can’t get away with it, then someone new in your life shouldn’t be given that freedom either.