So Let it be Written, So Let it be Done!

April 27, 2010

Eureka – I Discovered My Relationship Downfall

Filed under: drama,kamakula — kamakula @ 6:51 pm
Tags: , , ,

Yep, that is right. After several years it finally hit me. I have poor impulse control. Not when it comes to doing or buying things, but with saying things. Well, perhaps not exactly saying things, more like treating people with the familiarity one usually reserves for those you have known for a long time.

See, my problem is that I have a relatively low social threshold, partly because there is the shy me who does not share much with anyone, there is the normal me which most people know, and there is the me which is locked away that even people who have known me for 6+ years still have very little clue.

Because I not a many layered person, it doesn’t take long for new people to make it to layer two. Unfortunately, this usually corresponds to the things that you joke, do, say, etc with people after you have built up enough mutual trust and respect so that some things are not as offensive, strange, or certainly easily recognizable as jokes.

So, what does this mean for me? I need to be a lot more cognizant of how soon I open up. Sure, jokes are fine, but keep them simple, without any quirks or references that I’m used to my friends or people who know me picking up upon. And slow down. The funny thing is, if I look back on my successful relationships (albeit we are hedging the definition of successful), that is exactly what ended up happening. Except I got there by accident, just without knowing.

This actually raises a question which I may address in another post – what is the line where exploiting my increasing knowledge of myself, others, relationships, and interpersonal interactions for my own benefit cross the line to being manipulative? I’ve had several people express to me lately that i’m a “bad” person for doing this – but isn’t that the point of having a brain, and learning from past mistakes and experiences? Or is it “bad” because my intentions don’t dovetail with those that others expect I should have?

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