So Let it be Written, So Let it be Done!

December 21, 2008

A Woman, A Ring, A Question

Filed under: drama,kamakula,pittsburgh — kamakula @ 8:35 pm
Tags: , , ,

Yes, you read that correctly. This post involves a woman, a ring, and a question. Perhaps you already know what I’m about to say. If so, please, skip straight to the comments and leave your response. I’d like to compare before and after thoughts. . . 

So, trapsing through craigslist one day, I ran into an ad a person had put up. Being a bit bored (at my apt, finals over, just finished reading my second book), I decided “what the heck, I can talk”. So we did. Now hold your horses. . . she’s just looking for friendship and that’s all this has been.

Ahem. So, after some talk over some time, we decided to hang out and meet up at a semi-local Chuck-E-Cheese like venue. We have fun, play games, chat a bit, then afterwards go to a mexican restauarant where we ate and chatted some more. Full disclosure: She paid for all her stuff and I mine except there’s still some discussion over which one of us won the most tickets for the prizes we’d gotten (I think that Sky Captain machine was rigged).

Anyway, I like her and have no problems being a friend. Yes, I’m that elusive male character that can be a woman’s platonic friend, given the requirements for such are met that:

  1. I am not attracted to her OR
  2. She is in a relationship OR
  3. I am in a relationship.

So, she’s married so obviously #2. Anyway, even though I myself am not a jealous individual, I’d be a bit uncomfortable with someone who was my wife spending time with a male individual (single or not) that I did not know on some level.

So, I have to decide, how do I bring about the question? When I tell my friends things like this, I always get asked “How do you get yourself into these situations?” Seriously, they don’t happen that often. Just in-between the last time we see each other.

Another thing, with few exceptions, most of the women with whom I’m friends now were met when we were both single. And there was some flirting, perhaps a bit more, then it stayed where it was. So now, it’s no big deal to joke around with them. So, here, I have to think about toning down the typical stuff though I’m not sure if it’s even an issue. 

Last year, I discovered a new friend where some of the initial circumstances were the same as this one. It wasn’t until maybe six months later that we started talking (and laughing) about the initial few weeks of getting to know each other.

Ok, I have a bit of a confession to make. Generally, I don’t really have conclusions for my posts. Perhaps because of the nature of these things, they’re not always “resolved” when I write them. However, being the type of person that I am, I feel bad about this. . . and now all of you will start noticing something you didn’t really see before. So . . .

Boom-shaka-laka. The End.



  1. So maybe I don’t know what I am supposed to be seeing yet, but I do know this.

    If I were married, I would not be on Craigslist…looking for companionship with a single male outside of my marriage. Something is amiss here. I feel like women might be drawn to you for a certain level of comfort (I haven’t figured out why) Don’t know if I will…

    Now…I do feel you should ask her what the problem is…like why is it she feels the need to seek companionship, comfort and fun outside of what she already has.

    Just my interpretation…for the moment.

    Comment by Merry Christmas Baby — December 21, 2008 @ 10:02 pm | Reply

  2. I don’t know if I read your post correctly- but are you thinking of asking her what her husband thinks of her being friends with you but you don’t know how to do it?

    Everyone has a need for human companionship. Is she not getting that in her marriage? I guess I would feel that it is important to be upfront with my spouse about who I am hanging out with. But 98% of the time I would rather hang with my spouse than with someone else.

    Perhaps she is avoiding something in her marriage. This is intriguing. It makes me wonder what the whole story is… Is she dependent on him for cash? Is she too much of a coward to leave? Is she using you?

    Comment by Fermi — December 22, 2008 @ 9:34 pm | Reply

  3. I would ask her why she was on craigslist… U never know until you ask. And her husband may be nuts… you don’t want to be innocently kickin it with her one day and WHAMMO, a sneak attack, whomping you in the back of your head.

    I’d like to know what her deal is…

    Comment by Nicki Sunshine aka Little Saint Nic — December 24, 2008 @ 8:05 am | Reply

  4. @Fermi – well, it seems like that may be taken care of. I’ve found out that he’s interested in seeing a video game I’ve been working on (a hobby we apparently have in common). We also have in common UPitt interestingly enough (or perhaps not, the university system is probably the largest employer in the pittsburgh area).

    @Nicki – apparently she wants friends aside from him. From what I’ve been told, most of the former ones are either unavailable (military or something else), moved, or been dropped.

    Comment by kamakula — December 24, 2008 @ 2:44 pm | Reply

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