So Let it be Written, So Let it be Done!

June 24, 2008

Double Standards and Gender Inequalities

So, this post is prompted by this topic on VSB. Reading through the discussion, several things came up over and over again that I took some issue with or felt hinted at other issues:

  1. What you do when you’re drunk is just a manifestation of your actual self. Nobody does something that they didn’t already want to do when drunk.
  2. Because there is no penetration when two women are together (sexually), it is quite a different scenario when two men are together (sexually).
  3. In a heterosexual relationship, a woman revealing that she’d had a one time experimentation in sex with a woman is virtually a non-issue but a man revealing a similar episode with another is an immediate deal breaker.

Ok. #1 – this is total bullshit. My example – a guy (21+) is extremely drunk and a persistent and attractive 14yo (or 15-16yo) has been hitting on him all night. He finally does the deed with her. Is the guy a pedophile? What about the drunk guy or gal that palms a shot glass at the bar? Does that mean he/she is a thief? To be honest, I think most people saying the stuff in #1 would say no. However, they’d also say that sex is a much different thing and attempt to push some metaphysical connection of sexuality and one’s true self versus any other behavior that I could show could be generated under the influence of alcohol but never when the person is sober.

#2 – I think this one is a case of homophobia. Strangely enough, just as many women expressed this sentiment as men. Which means there is some sort of phobia among these women of men who have either been in this situation or otherwise exhibit behavior that they consider too feminine. I think this is in part tied to #3.

#3 I find this interesting. Why is it that a women would be a lot more threatened by a man having experimented with another man? Some of the comments on this give explanations that run like when a woman does it, it can be written off as she was lonely or didn’t have a man, but when a man does it, it points to him being a latent homosexual. Or a man doing this is immediately no longer “manly” enough for me”. Whatever the rationale, this suggests to me that there is still a big gender equality gap. Relationship-wise, there is something more important about a man being a man than a woman being a woman.

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1 Comment »

  1. http://contexts.org/socimages/2008/06/26/how-to-do-masculinity/

    I have a link to the same URL on a blog post I made Titled: Sociological Images.
    Read through the comments and there is more debate on this subject.

    Comment by Fermi — June 29, 2008 @ 11:05 pm | Reply


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